It's been awhile. Life's kinda been crazy, with work and family and the ridiculous hell of trying to deal with society as a whole, I haven't really found much time to sit down and write. And the time I have found that I COULD use to write I found myself lacking inspiration. Don't get me wrong: I always have problems. With everything. I hate just about everything and everyone and always have shit to complain about, but a lot of the time I can't find a direction for it. It's like I'm this boiling pot of bitchyness and frustration that's been covered with a lid, so all the steam stays in. Eventually, as with a covered pot of boiling water, the lid pops off and the pot boils over. That's when I write. So I've gathered a new selection of random, useless but hopefully amusing shit to complain about. This is...MINI RANTS PART DEUX!!!
1) Cars that stop at lights and settle halfway in the crosswalk. Just....fucking seriously? Its a CROSSWALK, as in a place for people to CROSS while WALKING. How are we supposed to cross the street safely when some douchebag stops his big-ass Hummer or Range Rover (or any other sort of car actually...) right in our god-damned path? We have to step out into the normal part of the street and risk being hit by idiot drivers just because YOU couldn't put your brakes on a few seconds sooner and stop before the crosswalk? Fuck you. (I realize there's still a lot of potential for being hit even inside the crosswalk...but even some idiots know what a crosswalk is and can associate hitting people with bad things.)
2) People who pay in small change. I don't mean 4 or 5 cents because their total at the store came to, say, $4.34. I mean people who ring up like....10-20 bucks worth of shit and can't use anything bigger than a dime. I've seen this. Both in line at the store (any store) and being a cashier at my local supermarket (I can't say the name...don't wanna get fired.) It's time consuming, frustrating and just plain stupid. It wouldn't be so bad if these people didn't gab the whole time that you're counting their little Zip-Loc bag of pocket change. But they do. They say things like "There should be $15.73 there...pretty sure." or "I don't know exactly how much is there, but I hope it's enough." Or "I really hate Jews. They're the reason I have so much loose change." (Okay I made that last one up. But it could happen...) Back to the point: Folks....try WRAPPING YOUR COIN! A big bag of coin rolls costs ONE FUCKING DOLLAR!!! I know it's a pain to roll them by hand, so invest in a coin rolling MACHINE. Yeah it's gonna cost a bit, but it'll pay for itself, both in terms of money and in terms of EVERYONE'S frustration.
3) "Dollar Stores" that sell stuff for more than a dollar. Oh my god. It's SO...DAMN...ANNOYING! I don't know why it is, but it frustrates the hell out of me. If you're a DOLLAR STORE and you have "Dollar" in your name, everything should be ONE DOLLAR! There are plenty of stores that do this. But a lot don't. And to those: YOU ARE NOT A DOLLAR STORE! YOU ARE JUST A STORE! A NORMAL STORE! CHANGE YOUR DAMN LABEL!!!!
4) People who spend so much time bashing pop culture that they become as intricately obsessed with it as the fans of said culture that they claim to hate. I'm not naming names. It's fine if you don't like popular culture. I don't. It's even better if you express that. I do. But DO NOT blow up my facebook feed or my email inbox with shit about how much you hate Jersey Shore or how stupid you think Lady Ga-Ga is. You look like a conceited prick and a closet fan of this stuff. You folks have NO right to call other people "posers". You're Anti-Poser Posers. Just shut the fuck up about it.
5) Rick Santorum
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGHHH
6) Overzealous and overemotional sports fans...The Patriots lost the Super Bowl. The Packers didn't make it into the Super Bowl. You're favourite player didn't make the NHL draft...STOP FUCKING BLUBBERING!!!!!! Seriously! You can go on the internet and find HUNDREDS of videos of people crying-genuinely sobbing like fucking babies with shit in their pants- because...their team....lost a game. Ummm...hello? It's not supposed to be taken so seriously. That's why it's called a GAME. Or a SPORT!! Its for FUN. Even in the big leagues of any Pro-Sport. Yes I was disappointed that my beloved Patriots lost this past Super Bowl to the Giants...AGAIN....but you won't find any video footage of me sobbing and whining with snot dripping down my face, going "Booo-hoo hoo *sniff* the-the patriots LOST!!! WHYYYYYY? Waaaaah!!!!" Why won't you find that footage? BECAUSE I DON'T CRY OVER IT!!! ...where anyone can see or hear me...I keep it private.
End Rant.
